April 9, 2020

Becoming a Fashion Model with Danielle Littleford

Becoming a Fashion Model with Danielle Littleford

The Quarantine Series - Episode 1. Cherrie chats to Fashion Model, Danielle Littleford from her London home, just before the UK went into lockdown. Danielle talks about living in Birmingham and Wales, working nights at a petrol station, experiencing bullying and moving to London to make it as a model. She also shares her difficult childhood years in care and how she wants to improve the system. But Danielle insists it’s not a sob story, it's simply her story and it's what's made her who she is today.

Danielle Littleford @daniellelittleford
Mother Agent LDN - LA @londonmodelscout
Premier Model Management @premiermodels
A Management @amanagementde

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Cover Illustration by Zoe Georgiou @zoedrawsfashion

Sponsored by Bio Sculpture nail care at renewbeauty.co.uk


spk_0:   0:00
growing up, I used to not religiously do my own nails, and it's weird because now I really neglect them.

spk_1:   0:08
Has everyone welcome to the quarantine period's off the Medicare tables? Created Conversations with Me, Terry SNY If you're listening to this podcast in the future, this episode has been created during the global Corona virus pandemic, which means the conversation has been recorded remotely, and so the sound quality may not be perfect. There's no physical manicure element, but there's still some now talk involved. We'll go back to the original format when the world gets back on track. This episode is sponsored by my favourite Healthy now care bio sculpture, 100% beacon on quality free. For more information, visit the new pc dot co dot UK. In this episode, I chats a fashion model, Danielle. Later she was at her London home in Stoke Newington, and this was just before the UK went into lock down. Daniel talks about the start of her modelling career in an industry she absolutely loves. She also shares her difficult childhood years in the run up to that big break. But she says it's not a sob storey. It's simply her storey. It's truly inspiring. Danielle Little in London. Yeah, Andre, you wait.

spk_0:   1:40
So I lived with my roommate. Just Yeah, Ron Hannah has just moved in the third room and then her friend Edie, who was just staying for a little bit. But now the four of us

spk_1:   1:50
are here. It's so four. Yeah, What's the situation with you? Have you been affected?

spk_0:   1:58
It's so it's honestly, like the most with our thing like eyes every day. And I had worked all week and every single day, the day off, I'm being told it's cancelled just the night before. Like, obviously, everything is kind of just shutting down. I'm kind of like last week I was on time, but on my commitments, I'm gonna do everything I need to do. But I was hoping they wouldn't go ahead. It sounds like I want to stay inside and, like, just do that.

spk_1:   2:25
Yeah, like you, I had clients keep postponing things, putting things back on. But I was thinking I actually don't want to come into London and do this. Yeah, I knew. And also the more I read about it and listened about the virus now and the more I thought, Now we should all be signing

spk_0:   2:49
like that's literally, like one of the only things where everybody can do something.

spk_1:   2:53
Yes, I just stay in so way Shot quite recently About, I'd say

spk_0:   3:07
not long ago. A

spk_1:   3:08
couple of months ago? Yeah. Yeah.

spk_0:   3:11
Like six weeks.

spk_1:   3:12
Yeah, six weeks ago. We are cool time with six. AM was close early. It was so eh alike, lest

spk_0:   3:21
our house like Baez.

spk_1:   3:22
Yeah. I mean, I had to stay at my sister's in Stratton because Yeah, I live in Essex And don't Did I stare my sisters? I can't remember anyways, very early. Start on DH. Um, I know that was it. I'd got the 4 30 train from essay. Yeah, on DH, then go. I, um and either, like, picked Geneva anyway. So? So then we had to get a train outside of London altogether. All the cree as always, together. Yet we're all together on I thought, OK, maybe on this little train journey will have a little bit of a rest on DH. Um, So I sat in the sea and the like, kind of I was opposite you. But like you, I could earn in a way. Yeah, Yeah. Don't say we've never met before, but I could he talk him? And I know it's so funny, because what is kept breaking up Because he was a Kristin. And I can't hear in little snippets of your life and, you know, I just kicked. You kept the injury site. So then when we got to the location on DH, then I started doing your manicure for weeks chatting. Yeah. I just thought your storey is so interesting. It's unexpected. It's India diving. It's odd. Weird's, but it's Yeah, there was one. Sometimes. Should we start at the beginning? Sure. I mean, okay, so she's got a couple. Hey, hey, hey, hey. I'm ready. Wait.

spk_0:   4:54
A cup of tea with a So, yeah, I was some 22 now. I live in London, but I was born in Birmingham. Um, with like, I was the seventh kids at the time of now is nine. Um, and yeah, my eldest sister, when I was born, was looking after all of us. And my mom was No, I really to be found, but it would come back, and so we lived in kind of like a really rough Um situation. And my sister was looking off dress, and she I think she was probably the agent of light. I would say, like between 10 and 13 of looking after us. Very young, but obviously not Harrison City. Seven kids, and then my brother Michael. He's severely autistic. So you see, I'm not sure if she doesn't know how to handle that. So just, like, kind of a madhouse. And, like, trying handle that.

spk_1:   5:44
See how? And then we were together at this point.

spk_0:   5:47
Yeah, all of us, except my losses and brother because they weren't born yet, But all of us on And what was my mom's house? And then, um, you know, when I was 18 months old, um, we went into care. Um, so my brother Okay, so I get a bit mixed up because obviously I was 18 months old, so I have no idea what's going on during this whole time. Like I wasn't really

spk_1:   6:09
having them. You don't have. I don't have any

spk_0:   6:12
memories. Exactly. Everything from up in tonight may be the age of three. I've been told on DH I no, from other people,

spk_1:   6:18
this is saying is actually, I think my memories. Three. Yeah, he's

spk_0:   6:23
actually right. Like the least I can go back. But I'm so yes. Oh, my. We were in care. And I think we like a went into a care home together. At one point in my sister definitely told may like storeys of when we were together for a short period of time. But I then growing up in care that it was me and my brother Martin, but yes. Oh, and then my other siblings went into different places. Two sisters went together. My eldest sister. I think she stayed with my mom for a year. She's actually talked about This is all a possibility. And then she also went to go and live with her friend. Um, and her about their family took a room, which is nice. But then yesterday we all went into Karen. Kind of disperse it in different families on then. That was kind of my life up until I was 18. Obviously not just like that, but yes, I grew up in care. Um and so I was able to meet.

spk_1:   7:15
I mean, you what interested me about WeII we met is that you kept saying it's not a sob storey. It's just my storey. No, you know, you know Oh, yeah, it's weird because,

spk_0:   7:29
like growing up like when I was really ill, I would like because it was show normal to me when I was a dance over I'm going to care. So like, but I was really ill and I had a foster mom who I've only known for years, and I don't call him on and she's very nice to me. But, you know, I'm just like a child. Like I didn't think that was weird when my brother was also experiencing it. You know, like you didn't call anybody Mom next to May. So I just kind of understood. Is that so? Like, people would ask me things growing up and I would notice in their eyes, they feel sorry for me, and I'd be like, Mate, we're good. Touch everything online, like don't worry like, you know, it's it's some some things as an adult I've had to accept weren't right or which floor Matic or, you know, I've had to realise. Okay, if there was things that you can understand aren't just like, you know free and like they're fine. But generally like I have had a really great people in my life, like generally, like even when I've had a very bad placements and lived in Rio for situations like I've come to a point now where, like I'm very independent, very look after myself. My life flows because of me on I've had to do that we need is on DH because of that, it's forced me to know things so much quicker. It's forced me to get to know interesting people like I met people that, like just below my mind and incredible opens doors to pace is because I grew up in Can. I met so many different people. I now khun me anyone and have a conversation because I had to live in families of people. I would never know. He had backgrounds. I never existed on be a part of that family.

spk_1:   9:02
So your mind is more. Yeah, it is very open. Yeah, My

spk_0:   9:07
mom's like my mom and I talked to my mom now and like my mom, I've always talked to her. I've always had contact my mom, you know, she's very open minded person like she's I mean, all of her kids, a different ethnicities know every single one. But some of them have the same dad. A majority of the world, different ethnicities on DH. She's just raised us to always talk to everyone the same. I've never experienced my mum be any kind of way. But everyone's saying she's on my family's like It's something my family's house, true and true, even though we've not growing up together, they have more rules that I strongly take with me like I have really good family members were really good values, like I'm so lucky that I have them and I don't feel like cleaning care took anything from us away in that way. I think we're very close. I've been like we have, but my nieces exists and they'd never existed. My sister's not in certain places, and they're like the best people ever, like they're amazing. So, like, you can't feel bad for your life when you've got all these great things that come out of it. You know? I mean,

spk_1:   10:06
yeah, I think human humanity around you, I think that's probably richer than my former gods. Yeah, you know, may

spk_0:   10:16
it does. It teaches you write so well because my life has just taught me like what is important and what's not like. I have lived with foster carrots that we're made of money and, you know, had this lavish likened could give me everything in that way. But they didn't give me any emotional support and they didn't look after me like that. And they didn't. There was none of the family aspect to it. There is one of the care. But I had everything you looked outside in. You'd be like This girl has everything. She's whose parents are amazing. And when realistically, what am I supposed to do with all this money you've spent on this thing? I can't get news, but looks great. But I'm upset and need you. And you don't know how to do that Lie. It taught me growing up like money will never be something that drives May. It just doesn't. You can't turn to me and go. This has this amount of money be ambitious and motivated. It doesn't work like that for me. I have to care about something properly because I've understood having it and no having the other part of it. And it doesn't work. It doesn't work.

spk_1:   11:16
you had. You had it both ways and you can see both sides of the coin. Yeah. You have really

spk_0:   11:24
great experiences without stuff.

spk_1:   11:26
Yeah, because you were move. We moving around quite a lot. Yeah. Presumably you went to different schools. Yeah. So how was that that? How did that affect you?

spk_0:   11:39
It was weird, because at the time, I didn't think it did on me. Now, I know it really did. Like when I was really little, For example, I was talking about the day to my friend about how you used to quit. Everything, unlike I had really great care is from the ages of 3 to 10 who I love so much. And they would puss in like, Bali. Kostya is Italy's, like, normal things. And, like I did acting classes and all these things, And I just wouldn't be able to stay there, and I wouldn't be able to go and I would kick off and I would scream and I'd have tantrums. I couldn't stay there. And I couldn't explain why. Because I wanted to do it so bad. Like even as an adult now. And like, I wish I'd done ballet. I wish I'd stepped acting classes because I love those things,

spk_1:   12:16
but I never did. So I do that I did Gymnastics and ballet things. Yeah, I could have been a ballet dancer. I You know what I could be right now? Yeah. It was like

spk_0:   12:30
I remember, like, now when I look at those experiences as a at the time, you know, people would let me quit doing things and then like, because I would have such a big reaction, but now, as an adult, but I suffer with anxiety and I have growing up, and I didn't realise it was so long that I suffer with it. I was suffering where there's a kid like I went into care 18 months old. Aunt had numerous parents up until the ages of already. So

spk_1:   12:54
how many bodies did you have? Do you know

spk_0:   12:57
I don't know. Because I know that I I obviously did to my family. And then I think we went into a parent home. Also, my senses said, and then my

spk_1:   13:05
So did you go with Sorry. Did you really say that she went with your sister or your s o? It would have

spk_0:   13:12
bean all of us at that time, I think, except carry. So she was, um Al. The sister was with my mom still, I think. But, um, so then it was two older sisters and three older brothers, and may while, um, yeah, it's a lot of us. And then, yeah, and then I went to you. I don't know if it was to caress before the carrots as words for night, seven years or if it was one Kara. But, um so I'd been in about four placements by the ages of four. Well, maybe including my family. So maybe three, but something like that, but yes. So I think I obviously didn't know as a child, but I now as an adult, like dealing with things and trying to, like, deal with them. I understand that, like, I really suffered with anxiety as a kid and being in places and is being and not being able to do things and just like the world really freaked me out, like growing up. It really freaked me out, but I didn't really know that. So yeah, I just kind of went into it and, like, was doing all the normal things and, like enjoying while I was a child, and then I'd be really freaked out a lot, but not know why. So, like, I think I was very like, you know, like attitude kid and very like, you know, like, yeah, like, would kick off and just like, stupid child, but like, very emotional eso emotional as a kid.

spk_1:   14:45
Then how did you get from a model

spk_0:   14:50
s O? I moved to Wales when I was, like, 14 or 15 with these Boston Harris, that being with from the age of 10 on DH moved with them. And then I was in college, and a few years later, I went to still nothing went to college on DH. I was doing musical theatre on DH. So this girl, her name is Kate. She was such another You got issues. Such talented dancer. She would always come to London. I met her in class and she would always concerned because she's an opposition that answer. So she does things and she's been doing things for years. I never even thought about like actually like growing up, I would be like, Okay, like, people would say to me like, you should really be immortal, like It's a really good idea. You should be a model, but like they were like my Aunt Pig, my family members and stuff. So I was like, Okay, like, baby No,

spk_1:   15:39
that is not the only

spk_0:   15:40
model. And then, like, I think I tried it every once or twice. And you do that like quick Google Search, realise everything to scam and then, like because I don't actually know anybody have never known anybody in the industry before I worked it. So it wasn't like, Let me ask this person for advice. It was very much like the Internet gives me. It's so like it's not as easy as Googling model agencies, and genuinely it will come up with this shit on the scans. First, that one I like charging loads of money, but like your portfolio like, why do I have to have a full port very of one voted of. Wanna shoot behind a white screen like it's just stupid.

spk_1:   16:15
So that's the fake Woodling world. Yeah, that's the fate like, if

spk_0:   16:19
you ever get charged for portfolio, do not do it. Yeah, I get just a scent. Never it's not. That's not how it works. I get people asking me that a lot which I always like, just know so much charge you thousands of pounds and your image is, you know, just No, no, no. In no way. But yes. So I didn't take it seriously. And then, um you know my friend Kay, She was like, Hey, like, I'm always in London. Like I know people who assigned to agencies in London. I thought of this count account called London Model Scout on Instagram. Like you needs to get started by her. She's got amazing models, all this stuff, and I just, like hearing, like, always stuff now, just like this is not gonna happen. I

spk_1:   16:57
hope all you want

spk_0:   16:57
about. Okay. So she, like, followed her for me. And obviously, admissions went mad when I saw this. Just like cool mother, right? Lia, who's the person in charge of the Walter Scott account? Never followed me back or anything. Sure we never saw the fall or anything. And so I was following her for, like, six months. And then one day I was just got three balls in, just like, you know, more like Should I just see she knows this man. Should I see if she cares. So I like Mitch. You went on the instrument, liked every single image. Just like my name would come up. I was like, I was I was like, No. And then actually, like, a few minutes, I should know it since a message range. Like calling on my Ah, she's like

spk_1:   17:33
what? Yeah, like instantly worked. I was like, Oh, wow,

spk_0:   17:37
anyone? My instagram wasn't amazing. Like when started. No, I wouldn't say what I wanted to be now anyway. But like then I was posting, like, ringing like no quality pictures of, like me and my friends and my name Sears and I'm a dog. And like, it wasn't like, though is a bee like a really great thing or like, try? It just wasn't like Max, so I wasn't expecting it. And then because of all the scam, things are born like that, Like I mean, I was working in a petrol station in like a knight. I just got in two days, but I've been working in that station for a year at nighttime. So my skin was really Graham as hale. I just looked really about it. I was in a really bad period of my life, so I just, like, wasn't feeling so great on DH, So I just was like, there's no way like this isn't legit. I just couldn't tell. I couldn't understand how this would be legit and she'd actually be interested Me. So she messaged me a few times and I'd like replied the odd few time and then I was like, No. So then literally like it goes on for like, a year of, like, us kind of interactive couples having like, okay, I need these Polaroids or like I need to meet you for this. All this and I'm just like, okay? And I'm not really replying and like being really and I whatever. And she was still interested. Me was so weird. And then, like a year later, I had a week off work and, like, I never really got time off work ever. And then, like, she messaged me and she was like, Okay, can you do it next week? And I was like, actually yes, about a week of work next week. And then I rang my best friend. Sounds like hey, let my friend labels that Hey, eso this lady, I think I was like, I don't know what she does with moderate, but she's like in the industry. She's like, I didn't understand the owl. I was like But I think she wants to meet me and I think she can help. Like, I think she can help you become a model and I don't understand Azerbaijani thing. I'm gonna do it like you know, that usually it's all scams like Cory don't get it. And

spk_1:   19:23
she was like living in

spk_0:   19:24
Italy is like what she liked hangs up on me and, like, calls me back 20 minutes later and she was like, booked it off work. She's driving me to London. You're going like I don't care. We're going

spk_1:   19:35
Oh my God, amazing friend. Your best

spk_0:   19:37
friend in the world. I wouldn't have gone like I wouldn't have pushed myself to do it. Without a doubt, I wouldn't be doing it. It's live, hadn't taken me and made me go. So she took Mae and then we went. We met Leah on DH straightaway. Leah was like, Yeah, I really do think that we can work together and should explain what mother Agent Waas. So now she is my mother agent on.

spk_1:   19:57
Did you explain that listeners you want? I hope your

spk_0:   20:02
agents are kind of like it's mine because my mother agent, I think, is a bit beyond my mother. Agent is she's very hands on, very personal, very sweet. But she's so they are. They take, they can meet you, they can scout you and then they will help you place at an agency. They will sit with you, make sure it's about AIDS before you talk you through everything talking what this agency is like, what they're expected of you and everything. In that way, she'll be the person that explains with Financial Star. If I don't know anything about tax, I'll go to her. She'll be there to send us information or talks may. If there's something I'm uncomfortable with that I don't know if I should reach the agency or if I just like anything that I don't know about what worries me. I can reach out to her and she'll help me out and she'll sort it out. Um, yeah, I'm not very good exciting,

spk_1:   20:51
that was That was a really good explanation, and you explains why you call it what they call it the mother agency. So I think, very

spk_0:   20:59
important. Like people ask me quite a lot like white, your mother Asian until they see her in action. When I when things happen like oh, you're leery Help me with this They don't actually realise white why she's so genuinely needed and helpful and she really like, especially in this industry. It's a very it's a complete different world to any other world is just a different place on DH. It's especially, I think, being on your own and being like, not really getting it and happen to have somebody kind of wimpy Syria. It's nice to have someone like she's here with me to help me, and she will give me all the best advice you really cares. And she's trying to help me be the best. So she's naturally going to be the right person to be like This is the information that you come this into this let's alertness from, and this is all these things is a safe place to go to. No, I mean

spk_1:   21:48
yeah, it's a bit of a secret world. The fan do you not think is a bit like it is because you can't you get into it and then you're like, You keep finding stuff out. It's mad

spk_0:   22:00
because people think they know what the fashion world is on then it's a different world, like it's the same. But it's different like this, the better. I love this industry. I think it's so great.

spk_1:   22:18
I think it's so bad, like it needed

spk_0:   22:22
my nails so nice. And I loved them right, and I, like, had them for a long as I could have them, like, milked them because I'm so bad with my nails. But

spk_1:   22:32
you're a massive riot

spk_0:   22:33
like thank you. They're nice now because I try to not touch them. But, um, you know, when I was younger, I used to like I would have by, like, those packs of, like, 750 part fake nails, and I was filed A ll down and stick them on, and I'd be there for hours and then, like paint berm and like I would give myself a new set of nails every five day

spk_1:   22:53
he started. I never use glue when I have Teo lit up in a nail on set. I never usually I always use the tabs that can come off really easily, but a super light strong at the same time. So they don't hear you wear when you're changing. Of course. Yeah. I mean, as a manicurist, we're all obsessed with now beds where we get someone like yourself with good now heads and by good I mean, off a good lunch. You know, over healthy Lindsay stood, so they're still sure. But you still got they still look elegant because you've got an idea of fence to you an outfit. Can they say that they're the

spk_0:   23:35
best kind of now? Yeah, it's it's so funny because we talk about like, you know what you're doing. And

spk_1:   23:43
I'm just like I have no i d o you do. You really do. It's so

spk_0:   23:50
it's so interesting because it's so like, you know, it's really amazing. And you did one else so well that I was nothing, but they're not very nice now.

spk_1:   23:59
So all I did was put on I, um a treatment I actually put. I think I'm gonna put on calcium seaweed base, which is by bias culture, one of my favourite Brian's, because it's really healthy, and it's vegan on DH, a non toxic and acts like a grich filler. So it's just a base that really smooth You're now, but also know she's Yeah, and it makes them look really clean and super steamy. Yeah. Yeah.

spk_0:   24:32
And I had, like, lately I've been nice talking to you about it. How I like my nails have been really, really likely. They would like bumping. And you needed to do that on my name because I was like, that Might like my nails is just not the houses the moment I don't understand why,

spk_1:   24:47
Yeah, off the hand, Washing all the hand washing that we have today, Water is the worst thing for your nails. You okay? Yeah. Because you're now that I made up of 25 layers off skin cells on every time you're washing your hands, which obviously we're doing a lot now. Yeah, the water is breaking down those layers. That's where you get, like Pierre Lee nails. So you how Okay, Yes. You have to put moisture in straight away. Oh, have at least a base on them to kind of hear protect them from the water. From what a sincere honest until king more cuticle oil on. I'm just saying this because you're a model and you do have to have a great house on DH. Yeah. 11. What is out there? Help me out. You know, with the nails much. Yeah. Yeah, Look off. Well, my first ever

spk_0:   25:55
shoot was a test shoot on. My mother agent organised it, and it was on your whole stock on DH. I still looking, Which is not like they're still some of my favourite.

spk_1:   26:05
I love her star. Mayday. Yeah,

spk_0:   26:08
she's amazing. I

spk_1:   26:10
think you're a little hands in her pictures of chance. Yeah,

spk_0:   26:13
and they're all very clean and beautiful. Young like, just nice, aren't there? Like she's great. I went to a large party before, and I've actually got a lot of magazines, loves them. So right, Yes, she was shot me was the first person he shot May on DH. So I really find out about that. And she was so good because I had no idea I was doing. And I remember that's Texan model of raging on the way. And I was like, Do you come with me and you coming? She was like, Oh, come on. I was like, Okay, I got there and I was like on his living room. And I was like, I like I didn't realise that sometimes you do just do a quick test shoots it like people's houses or their studios air in their houses are like So I got it. I was, like, so glad that she was a woman to begin with because I wouldn't have known what to do. I bloomed would know on DH. So I went in there and no makeup shoes that we just took your hair it for me. So I put my head in a bubble. She gave me these clothes. She had, like, earrings and stuff, and then she had this sheet and this sofa set up, and so she was kind of talking me through it like I read it I was doing and I kind of just like studying from the camera. My living will have this massive window for the life, and she just really knew what she was doing. And she knew how to, like, get my angles because it was my first ever shoot, and I really had no idea what I was doing. It

spk_1:   27:26
was it was a hair and makeup as well.

spk_0:   27:29
No none. Which is kind of funny because one of those photos people always uses a reference paramedic that when I'm in work and I'll be shooting and I'll see the Hera Hera make reference and it'll be that boat and it's so funny because there's none

spk_1:   27:42
in it that is so having lied to me

spk_0:   27:44
so often there'll be so many photos of me on a sheet on. None

spk_1:   27:48
of them have makeup on. This's what we wait. Now listen, easy running. I like nice that you were eased into it quite nicely because if you'd have had quite a big team, it would have been more intimidating. Surely, Yeah, and

spk_0:   28:08
like it was just nice because she was really sweet and she was just, like, take elections taking her time. And she was like, not making me feel away from the camera. She's just talking to me and being like, taking a photo and then, like being like Kate. Wait, Stay exactly where you want. Move your hand up a little bit. Great! Perfect. Hold on. And then she was explaining to me what she was doing in Shinsei Kai. Miss Good change films to chill out for a second, like then started telling me about what she does and was talking to me through a bit of her. So, like I was getting to know a bit of industry and getting to know a bit of like, her side of it and like, Yeah, it was just It was a really nice introduction to it. She was really nothing.

spk_1:   28:42
So let's have the images. Amazing. Actually, I've never worked with her before, but no admired her. I have worked for a far. So then when What was your first editorial? I did

spk_0:   28:57
Metal magazine. Yeah, on DH I So I did that. And it was weird because I've got one set and it was like So they were They were shooting for models for each page. I think it was one storey, but it was different pages. But it wasn't all of us for the whole day was like different slot street model s O. I got there and it was like it was a really lovely to have people like I met Bunny Hazel there, who's at my agents. And now he's just out there and she's also make party Should really lovely, like Mr Ingram, who was the photographer who I still follow now. And like I knew Cho phone And like this group of people who I still like, look at their stuff and I'm like, That's really cool stuff. That'd be really great things. And I met a friend who I bumped into the other day literally in Stoke Newington down the road. Tear, Who's a model there? Like, Just like really nice heart of people. Um, on DH. So I was waiting for my shop. My wishes, my face is a single page for me. And it was just my face that had the magazine on DH. Yeah, so I waited. And then they did two shots there, and then we had some Thai food on. Then they did the shot. Yeah, it was great. Was the first man ever had sight age?

spk_1:   30:05
You told May that you didn't know what your ethnicity, Wass says. I still don't e

spk_0:   30:14
running such a topic that, like, obviously like people ask me all the time, don't make this tears, and I'm always I don't know.

spk_1:   30:23
So what's your kind of guests or like I don't know?

spk_0:   30:28
Well, I've always thought that I was either Pakistani or Indian in the Quezon wrote. But Maura, I think Pakistani now that I've grown up, you know, that's what I've always thought it was. But I don't know. My mom's just like white Irish, just normal Irish. She's got, like, gingery, huh? Huh? And then, yeah, I don't really know. My dad is so I I don't know why, but I want to get a d n a tests, but they come back with so many percentages of different things that it's not what I'm asking for. You know,

spk_1:   31:02
you're a cross between Sama Hayak on DH, I think a little bit. Keira Knightley, if you have a hearing. I recently started getting it, which is so

spk_0:   31:13
odd because I've never gone out before But now it's becoming more normal together.

spk_1:   31:18
Yeah, it's not bad mix. No, she's amazing. I get I get her

spk_0:   31:23
quite a lot. Actually. I get her a lot on somebody else to get a lot of carbon burn a Spanish actress?

spk_1:   31:30
Yes, and maybe have got bit Spanish in you. I would love some. Astonishing. Maybe. Who knows? You love It s a culture. I was little I love it. And so when you were growing up. How did you see your How did you view your appearance? Because I remember you saying that you didn't feel beautiful on

spk_0:   31:51
DH. Yeah, well, growing up was really weird because, like, had anything, my looks really came into it until I went into high school. Which is to think everyone when it starts. But like, I just Well, I start ageing. You're seven in Birmingham on DH. People just hated me for the getting, like, I was really, severely bullied when I was in Birmingham. So, you know, I was always called ugly. And, you know, just nobody really likes me. Like Atal. I wasn't very used to like being pretty or being liked. I just never thought that myself, like, ever, I would never look in the mirror and think cover that I look so pretty today and like so I just kind of like I don't know Yeah, like people. Really? Maybe think what? That I was ugly because they made me feel it constantly. Then when I moved to Wales, it was weird because I remember, like when I first made like, everybody wanted to get You know who I was because I was seen as the new girl. It was so weird to me having someone People have an interest in May And I remember like this girl in school caught up to me and she was like, Oh, I'm whatever her name was. I think this other girl who was like the it girl, whatever is of the

spk_1:   33:00
school, she should have said that You're so beautiful.

spk_0:   33:03
I Oh, my God. She's just said that I remember her saying something about smells like onion nine. I was like, Why is she mocking me like while Would you just sit there and lie, come up to me and be like You're so beautiful like that? I remember thinking this so rude to do

spk_1:   33:15
that like I was like,

spk_0:   33:17
Oh, my God. Like the issue is where she was being realised that when I moved to Wales, people did start telling me they thought that I was pretty and stuff and I was just like at first I didn't think it all. And then I have never really got to a point now. Even now when I look in the mirror and I'm like, Oh, I'm pretty, I'm just like I deny I've always they never thought. I've never looked at myself and just been like I you say like this Like I just kind of Right now, I'm a lot happier with myself. But then also, like I put effort into light ceiling good and doing things and like trying to make myself feel good. So then on, naturally, I just like, you know, I feel like you just look better when you feel happy. So even if you get crap, you just glow more that you just feel. But

spk_1:   34:00
And when you're confident in yourself, you come here off more beautiful, don't you think that kind of confidence? No, only that way.

spk_0:   34:16
Like it's because sometimes, like actually like with work like when we work together, like is, you know, like it's a

spk_1:   34:23
It's a piece to me night with my job. Like even if the image, the end

spk_0:   34:27
result is a photo of my faith, right? I don't see a photo of my face because the whole team made that image like it's a It's a piece of art that a whole team put together and made like the photographer has made that image look great with the lighting and he stills, and the stylist is in here. You'll hear the money with the manicuring and like the maker, there's so many different things that go into it. It's not the model ever. It's never just have I've never just him on DH. You know, sometimes I'm so proud of things. And I remember I used to feel quite bad because people

spk_1:   34:59
who don't really know the industry

spk_0:   35:00
would be like I should just saying that her She's very She just thinks that she's really pretty and she just looks great in this. It's like, Well, no, actually, I just spent 12 hours on set with a team that I loved when we came out with something amazing and I love it like I'm proud of that. So now I have the confidence to say that, and now I love like I can. I can understand what I do well in my job, and I can understand why I can't do my job because I work hard and try to do it good. But I don't then generally go home and go, OK, I'm like, really bringing this. Not like that over there at work. I'm not really like all about my looks or

spk_1:   35:37
Yeah. I mean, when I look at an image, I'm not just looking at the nails, because I've done the now, I mean, Tonto cheque, the now kind of thing, right? Sure. They're looking OK, right? Yeah, But what I mean is, I I like a hot and images a hole, you know? And I'm, like, excited when an image is amazing because, you know, I can have it in my book. And it's not just about that small but part that you bring to their the image search forever. Yeah, it's an absolute team effort, so I can't I love

spk_0:   36:12
it. Uh, it's so amazing, I think like, I love this industry because we get to be a part of that. Like these things we get to put so much hours and time into and have fun doing and like, learning new things and people. And then you come out with this project that you can keep forever like, and it just you will always love. It will have these memories of it. Like I think it's very making Teo.

spk_1:   36:35
Yeah, it's kind of like a conversation that you have like with the agency of like, what's our time together? Like, what do

spk_0:   36:52
we want to get out of this? What's the route? We're going down. All things like that. Like sometimes like you will focus, like, really on high fashion on a runway and be like

spk_1:   37:04
doing that. If that's like the goal is to be doing that

spk_0:   37:06
certain show and sometimes your life folks and are more editorials or more like

spk_1:   37:11
Yeah, a certain kind of stall. Yeah, that you want to represent, I guess,

spk_0:   37:18
back away. I think with my agency and I think what they're great at what I have learned to love in the industry. I really love high fashion. I love Runway. I love editorials and I love being able to just, like, do the weird thing to come up with really cool images and like I would like getting to all of the positions in all the wonder places because I just love, like creating something that looks really cool, like, that's my favourite kind of odd lid was on set the other day and they were like, Okay, could you do that? Said it was like a really cool for all of these two girls, and this other girl's body was like in fine, but she was upside down. But it was really cool. And I

spk_1:   37:55
was like, Yeah, of course, like, I'll do that and they were like, Yeah, you're the girl that they would like You're really your bendy And I said, How do you know that? And they

spk_0:   38:02
were like, You've got so many images of light just doing really cool stuff And I was like, I

spk_1:   38:06
was so glad you

spk_0:   38:07
people are singing. That's what I like to do and then hiring May and being like

spk_1:   38:11
shielding. But the weed and fun stuff, It's important to know how to move. That's part of your job. Obviously, Andi, I always find it's really did. If the model has some sort of dance experience or or does yoga or, you know, I mean, like, just rather than because then they know their body and I have more control of over their body, I think, Yeah, and it's weird because I studied dance and musical theatre, but I'm no means a good dancer. I'm

spk_0:   38:44
so bad at dancing. Like I said, dance and dance. It's so weeks of in Wales and Birmingham Southern accents weird, but Yeah, like I studied it. So, like I know, like the basic skills. And if you give me routine and actually teach me, I'll get it. But I'm not that girl that's gonna pick something up in two seconds. I don't actually have, like, a good flow rhythm. I can't just look really cool downs in like I'm not like that, but because I did gymnastics going up so inflexible on because I have had basic have had training in it, and I've had really great teachers on my dance. Teachers were really, really good at what they did that my body can move and people will ask me on set like your dancer. And it's funny because people who worked with, like, Who Learned Dance With Me will be laughing at that. They'll be like,

spk_1:   39:31
No, she's no, because I, like, literally, they will like me like, Why would any really say that to her? But

spk_0:   39:38
like when I'm on set, it gives me that skills and because I like dancing is really important, I think like being out to move, I think admitting it's like putting on a character embodying something like putting that together and creating something it makes

spk_1:   39:52
our spending even a storytelling. Exactly. But

spk_0:   39:57
like, yeah, other than on set, I'm no good answer, but onset. Apparently I could make

spk_1:   40:02
it when I turned 18. Yeah, my

spk_0:   40:15
foster carers of two years. They dropped me off the whole store and then Yeah, like I haven't seen them since. Um, on then. So I was basically me on my own.

spk_1:   40:28
But did you get on with them?

spk_0:   40:30
Yeah. It was the weirdest thing ever because, like, I went from a really traumatic and hard household to them, Almost built from my brother. And I was going through a lot of things on, and they really helped. May. They were really good, too. May already kind. I really trusted them. I had a family there, you know. They made me feel like I was part of the family. And then it just was weird. Like when I turn 18 the foster mom, she just like she didn't seem to like me much anyway. Like, I always had a bitter taste about United States People around me is there's something about her that either bothers me or that she doesn't like me like I never felt 100% comfortable. But the foster dad I adored on the foster sister I also George on Guy had like a Boston every there as well, who had the little tiny person who was great. So I loved him. I'm but yeah, and then when I turn 18 it was like she was like she was picking at me all of a sudden to try and create arguments. It felt like she was trying to create a situation. And she said, You know, once that she didn't want me to live there anymore and then started saying to me that I wasn't part of the family and started like she. I was struggling with money at the time because I had been working and also just turned 18 and I was also paying them rent to live there. Once I turn 18 so is struggling, and so they would go for, like, family meals, and she would like intentionally not invite me and then post on Facebook like with my family. Like nobody else. I'd rather have around me, like a lot like and would cheque them in like Facebook things. And then I just sit at home and she'd know it wasn't working at the time. Yeah, like and then just. But I

spk_1:   42:07
didn't think you

spk_0:   42:08
had money. And I didn't think you could come. And I was like, Okay, but that's you've really gone about in, like, a not a nice way. And it went on like a family, too. What? I genuinely thought like someone was trying to push me out. And then for a while I didn't like bite. When then I started getting really angry and biting back. And then one day, like the foster dad, he would like, work away sometimes and then be in the house away. He wasn't. There was when she was worse to me when you he was that she was a lot nicer to May. On one hand, their daughter was there. She wasn't licenced me too. And then one day he left for work and she started like picking at me soon started arguing the night we were both arguing At this point, it wasn't just her on DH, you know, the foster dad came walking back in as soon as I just, like, reacted nicely. Slight. I remember I said we were like being on opposite ends of the house was at the end of your nose, like, near the kitchen. But I just screamed something about and he just came running up to me. And obviously, origin scene was me Have a go her sucking so much was, like, get the f out of my house and only staying. I just remember being like, Why is she trying to get me out so bad? And then after that argument, the tents in the next thing was like, You need to leave. Like, you think of something out that I was there when my source today. Where mice do you mean, like,

spk_1:   43:25
what do you

spk_0:   43:25
actually mean? Yeah, I was like, I don't get it. Um, And then they gave me a month, and then the month came up and they dropped me off hostile. The foster mom didn't come. She didn't come to in the car where the foster sister and posted out junk mail. Yes, and like, based on that radio

spk_1:   43:44
did, they was going to say where they were. They upset because you got away with them.

spk_0:   43:49
Yeah, and like, it was a very weird situation because, like none of them talk to me now. that I've got it all got me blocked. I haven't seen what the little baby looks like now. It's been like five years. I don't know anything about them because they have me locked in everything. I have hard since then, and it was weird because when they dropped me are they were really upset. Like they were crying in the foster door that I was like, your sisters, we'd like in them. It's got two years, we've become so close, Like I was then auntie to her child. So we were so close and she, like, looked at her house. And I'm sure that why you doing this to her? That you can't do this to her on DH. Then they did it. And then, like, I remember a month later, that's saying, Foster, daughter of my foster sister, you know, messaging on Facebook, Being like you were like this towards my mom, you were horrible, Knew of this, and I was like, Okay, all right.

spk_1:   44:40
She's allegedly being too responded. Yeah, bean kind of brain washing away.

spk_0:   44:45
Exactly. And it just it was a very quickly sour situation after such a nice period of time. Um, on DH Yeah, So I just kind of like me like clothes such up to there on DH, I I didn't really believe my flat for a while. Like I said, I was in a hostel, and then they moved me to, like, a supported living taste, which is, like, get your own flat, but their staff there. But, you know, in your flat. But like, you know, I mean, they build in, Um So I was living there from after the hostel, and so I started, like, not going to college as much because I find it really hard. I wasn't really sleeping or eating it all on DH then. So I dropped out of musical Theatre, which I loved doing on DH. Then I found a job in a petrol station because my friend's mom was working there as, ah, I think she was managing the clean in the cleaner section of the service station. Uses a service station on DH. She was like, there's a job in Starbucks, but when I got there, they were like Sorry, that job's gone now, but the only job that's available his nights in the petrol station is on it, and I needed a job. So I was like, Yeah, okay, cool. So I started working night shifts. I did that. Bring it. Um, And then, um, the same woman who got me the job her daughter started working there. Andi, me Hegel were really close, which is why she got me the job. We were really close. And the nun, daughter and mother were really, really close. So? So such a close collegues combination. Like I thought they had such a lovely relationship, like they're really great to me. And then obviously I I was just knew me, like, on my own. I have no idea what was going on. So

spk_1:   46:19
they kind of took key wonder. Yeah, being in the beginning Exactly.

spk_0:   46:24
They took me under their wing and it felt it felt so nice. Like I really loved them. I thought they were so kind. And I never really cared about them. And then because I was on nights and my friend was on days, we would hardly see each other. And we've gone from steam shovel like every single day to like, not all. So I messaged a one time, and I was like, Hey, let's hang out. Um I was like, on the weekend. I'm off to finally see you. She said I can't. I'm busy like, but, you know, like another time. I'm not OK, cool. So I still went out because I was saying I was gonna go out, and then I still heard outside. Hey, let your hour like what is going on? And she just started becoming very weird with me, and I was like, I didn't understand it and she And then I got a job then at Starbucks on days. And so I moved up to the where they were working and obviously in the daytime as well. So they were working there, and I would just here like it was a very light bitching environment in the workplace. And I would hear things that I had done to her that just never existed. But I was still confused as to why we haven't seen should choose being on all of a sudden. Her and her mom just started being really rude and awful to me. And I remember going up to her in her job. I'm being like, Hey, like, what's the issue like, what's wrong? Like, talk to me. You know, like I'm your friend. What worked? What didn't you like about me? What's going on? What have I done? Something to hurt you on DH. She wouldn't say anything to me on DH. She just kind of like Like she to this day. The girl has never said anything to me. It's ball. Like as her mother has been like, You can't talk to this girl and you have to hate her is a very odd situation. They're very weirdly close. But yes, they they kind of took advantage of the situation. And they started turning staff members against me. They started making it very toxic commutes coming to work

spk_1:   48:09
her mum would like. So you've really experienced on adult form off billions, in a way,

spk_0:   48:15
Yeah, It was horrible because obviously, like I worked there, I couldn't get away from it like I had to work. I had no choice. Yeah, on DH. You know, at that point in my life as well, I didn't I couldn't Not in my ration in my head. I could just go and get another job because I had to make payments and I didn't know. I didn't know when to talk many things. So I just knew that I was making the payments and that I couldn't afford to fuck that up and do something wrong on day. Scared me. You know, they really scared me. So I just out with it. And then, um hey, I'd like more people started just kind of turning against me. Have Mum would start in May, so I I went back to the petrol station, but on days on the boss there hey, was called Sean and the other one word members that were incredible, that I loved them. It was so nice to meet you. So nice to work with. And you know, that boss would have to go up there sometimes and be like, Can you listen to track down alone, like, why would you need her alone? She's that I was at 18. You know, she was like, she's a child and you're an adult like me. Her life. And I would like Clinton to be upset because of her. And I never went into Stafford because she would find me in that and like, there's no cameras or anything, and she was gonna waive it. So then fast forward to when I started modelling on because it was so random and it was so like I didn't Obviously, I'd had I haven't really had this conversation with my mother agent because of a year we had her ridge kind of just been missing it. Have not remember pie. So I'm not expecting anything to happen from this. And when I went to meet her, my best friend told me to go and then I kind of thought I was gonna be a conversation would come back. Ah, Nde. You know, I still went to London, met mother Asian, and she was like, I went with live, went about our day and she text me, and she's like, Can you stay in London? I've sent here just agencies. They want to meet you tomorrow. And I was like, Okay, so I stayed in the agencies and then quite quickly,

spk_1:   50:09
that we should just day I say

spk_0:   50:11
that my sisters, my eldest sister Carrie,

spk_1:   50:13
is in

spk_0:   50:13
London. Yeah, and I rang carriages like Yes, of course. Come and stay here on. So she looked after me blast, sir, And then, um yeah, and I signed, and it was like I had a conversation with my mother agent. And she was like, Realistically, you should never London if you want to do, give all your attention and time to this. And you wantto really

spk_1:   50:32
here that you know

spk_0:   50:33
London is the best place. And IOC Hodge nothing in Wales. They hated my whole life that I was like, yes, and I met. She moved within weeks, so But I was so scared because I I didn't really believe I could be a model time on DH. The situation was going on around me at work that I was like, I

spk_1:   50:52
turned to

spk_0:   50:52
anybody right now and say I'm here in sedans and hunger start modelling. They're all gonna laugh in my face. I'm gonna fail and have to walk back to Wales with my head hanging now. And I'm not gonna do great. And I'm gonna be embarrassed. So

spk_1:   51:03
I take it over. Didn't say they'd really crushed your confidence.

spk_0:   51:06
Yeah, they iose It was weird because there was a point of my modelling career where I couldn't cope because I didn't understand why people was why it was going so well. I couldn't understand. It was so odd. I was like,

spk_1:   51:23
You're waiting for us. This is tea tree type things. And yeah, I'm

spk_0:   51:28
like, I'm not that great. Like, I just I remember just thinking like, no way. But it was funny, because the day before I left that job, I moved to Wales to London, and I was in. I finally got the balls. I fought with my last day. I'm going into the staff room, and I'm just gonna, like, have my lunch and then, you know, leaves. And I still haven't told me when my boss at the forecourt like Pasteurisation, she knew

spk_1:   51:51
you didn't notice or anything. Well, I did give notice, but I can

spk_0:   51:56
tell my boss and she didn't tell. Everyone can look on while the U. S o. It just went to her. And so I went up the staff room and she came in and she gave me a day left. What passed? He went to the bathroom when I was just like, Okay, Now look at my friend. I'm getting an email from my mother agent, and it's saying, you know, like tomorrow, we need to meet to this and I get to talking about the future. You know, like I'm like signing. She's sending the contracts and stuff, said, I've got information on my phone about being the model, and she comes in to me and she she looked at me and it was like a movie night. Now it's like a movie. But she looked at me and she nicked. Then she was like, You still here? And I was like, Yeah, and she was like, This is all you're ever gonna be A She was like, you know, that she was like that. She was like, You're discusses is all you're ever gonna be. Is she just, like, gave me the nastiest look and I just looked channels Okay, Like like I didn't have the energy to fight with her. I wasn't like I also wasn't a model. I had no right, no leg to stand on. I was there. There's nothing for me to stay here. And then she left and then I never you know, I lost in the night next time, reads and became a model, and then it was so weird because then, like maybe like a year later, I just I think it was a few weeks after I've done both Netherlands and it come out and everyone was talking about. It is really exciting. I'm really happy about it. And I went to Wales to visit my best friend, which is the only time I ever go home in Wales on that visit my best.

spk_1:   53:14
Is this the girl that took Josie's? Yeah, that exactly? She's not

spk_0:   53:19
my family. That go? Yeah, but yes. So I'm only now when I go to visit her. And I went down and we were, but she was dropping me to the coach station so that I could get my coach back to London on. We were both like, room needs to pee, like quite a bit hung over. And we were like, Okay, we need to We're gonna have to stop where we're gonna go. We're on the motorway and obviously, like where I worked was on the motorway. So, like it was so that was the only station near We were both like, Oh, my God, no, We can't stop anywhere. Except he had a coach like that. I mean, it's what Oh, my God. So I went in there was like, No, I got like, sunglasses on. I've got shorts on. It's like summer and I'm just like, okay, lives that we need to go and get a bottle of coke. I need to get coffee, and I'm not. I'm going to go toilet, Ran into the toilet like completely ducks like ran, came out so living W. H. Smith and then grabbed a coconut turnaround on by Starbucks. I could see my boss, Sean, and she was stood with this lady. No one would believe me. The mom, the girl who was that was also that off was also there. They got the friends that I had was still working. She was there and then another woman who worked in W. H. Smith. He was always very nice to May. And so Sean saw me. She shouted when she was like Danielle and I was like, Oh, my God, I walked open. I was crapping myself. I was onboard. This woman's right there like I was still really scared of. And I was like, Oh, my God! And so I was just trying to, like, fake it till you make it like like, Hi, How you doing Like acknowledged people on DH literally, without me saying anything like they want to depreciate, Smith when I just saw you in vote, Didn't you just do like Michael? Wait, I've still even this other thing to

spk_1:   54:46
a brilliant start Talking about all this that that I was doing of say anything.

spk_0:   54:53
I just thought that I was like, thank you. And this woman who had been evil to me, like really evil to me for so long for no reason. And I never reacted. Um, I never did anything back to her like that was

spk_1:   55:05
the best cover. I was happy. Like I didn't even have to say anything. Yeah, it just naturally organically happened. And it's like

spk_0:   55:15
it's true. They're like I'll never like. I'm glad I never reality reacted in the arguments. Like when when she would threaten me when all these things happened. I never did anything to hurt her or a door. And it would bother me at the time of like, why am I not the kind of person that would just ruin her life? Why can't I just do that? Why am I not the kind of person that condition use all their secrets against her? But I'm just No, I really can't and said people used to really bad. Look over me like so many people used to really just walk over me and just completely left me over.

spk_1:   55:46
I always think that actually, I'm two wrongs don't make a right, do they? So it's good. It's good that you didn't, you know, react is good that you ignored existed

spk_0:   55:56
without it. Yeah, Yeah, exactly. It just makes me, like, worse than her. If if I reacted like I got out of it and, like, I don't know what they're doing now. But

spk_1:   56:10
what what would you say? Is there anything that you wish was different? Like, what advice would you give in yourself if you could have done Yeah,

spk_0:   56:20
during that, I would have said to myself, Like I think my whole life I just needed to hear that. Like, I wasn't the problem and that I would be okay. And like I think a lot of my life people made me feel like I was an issue or a bird and a war just not wanted. And now I know that's not true. You know, I have so much. I have a great life and I have people who care about me, and I do a job that I love. You know, I mean, people like you and I have that office unity and I, you know, like the people around me are wonderful people, and I feel so lucky that I get to be around them, but I will have to be around them with all this.

spk_1:   57:06
Yeah, but you are really, like, energetic on set on. And I actually Teo is so funny because, like, that kind of thing could either make you or break you. Yeah, I think I Okay, maybe it did break you up at some point, but it's really But it's really good that you can now actually take something from that on DH and just be a better kind of person because of it. In a way, you know, it's

spk_0:   57:37
always taught me what not to bay like, I always say, like, it's what I feel lucky, like my mental state and the things I know about people in the world are years ahead of my age. And I think that especially in the industry I'm in and where I live, I need those skills and I need to be able to talked all kinds of people. Andi deal with things on DH, I'm glad. I've I've learned because I need to know.

spk_1:   58:04
And, you

spk_0:   58:04
know, I've come across really bad people. And so now I'll never do, sir, and things because I know how it looks. And I know how I give it. And so if I've looked at someone joins in the awful and I've gone, I never wanna be like you. I'm never gonna do that because I can see the reflection of what it comes across. Everybody else join

spk_1:   58:23
me like, yeah,

spk_0:   58:25
I understand the effect of being nasty and being horrible and being abusive and all those things to people. I know the effects of it, and I know what's important. And I think I'm really lucky for that. Like, Yeah, like I can't sit there and feel about it for myself. I feel like my life was so hard on. It's not like I was also, like, right now, you know, I'm not talking to you on my life. Hi. Things have so many great things.

spk_1:   58:49
Yeah, and actually, you can look back on things and think, Yeah, like I went through that and I come out the other end on DH. Actually, I feel acquired. I feel quite proud of myself. In a way.

spk_0:   59:02
You and I never used to let myself feel that because, like I never used to want it. I never wanted to be that kid and care that had that normal kidding care Storey or everyone felt bad for. And like I said, people said like I was like a puppy on people's doorsteps and like, I would just always sounds like a bad thing. And I was just like, just I'm not a victim. I'm a person and I'm fine on DH. Then you know that as an adult, I've come to realise it's not the best mindset because they're happy. Depict them and I am allowed to be hurt by that. And I am allowed to acknowledge that that wasn't right. But it still shouldn't take over that I'm in charge of what I do. I'm in charge of my actions of my day to day of how you treat people. I don't get to blame my mom because once upon a time 20 years ago she did the site. It just isn't a reason for how I behaved today.

spk_1:   59:53
Yeah, you know, I mean like is is how you do with things and you can't make excuses in a way. No, no, you just got to kind of accept things on DH learned from the You have to

spk_0:   1:0:06
find the balance because we all go through stuff. But you have to find the balance of acknowledging it on being able to understand, like your role in it, whether you're a victim or a perpetrator or both or whatever. Like and then also like not lingering in it and not feeling too sorry for yourself coming up. Mike, I I can linger in it. I can get really, really depressed and really, really anxious because, you know, when I was 18 and things like that happened, there were such prolonged periods of my life that my natural reaction now when I get depressed, is to prolong it when, really, now, if something bad happens to me, the consequences in his long term it's never is my fight. Life is actually quite fine, like none of those things that affect may actually exist anymore. None of those people could hurt me. I'll never be in those situations again, ever.

spk_1:   1:1:04
You have such a great personality on set Thank you. On DH. Um, you have a great look as well, Dino. Amazing. Appreciate

spk_0:   1:1:15
that I am Well, because I only recently started thinking about the long term plan, which is not great, but I just was kind of grown. I was kind of just in it for a while and kind of just trying to deal with day today. You know, recently I've kind of started thinking like, you know, I did musical theatre in college, and I did it because I loved acting so much. So I would love to do improv classes and get into some stuff like that. But gently, like my life goal has always bean to do something within the social services that I can help. Like, I know that so many things that went wrong in my life didn't have to go wrong and so many placements that I was in a shipment of being in and there were adults responsible for that. You know, there are people responsible for the mix match in the the things that are wrong within the caste system, on the things that the reason that there are so many kids without families and kids that like these kids with care with like, you know, the terrace. Stereotypical behaviour of a kidding can, in fact, did not even exist. It's like people judge kids that are in care or like don't help them or think less of them. I think this, unlike these Children, like these people on like it's not their fault. Life was already disadvantaging for them, like let's help them and they don't have families that her compassionate actually want to raise a person. You know, it's like a job for a lot of people, and it needs to be just so different. There's just so many changes. I've got so many friends and care that I've had so many conversations with, and they all, you know, majority actually of them are in a position like me, where it's now just us in the world. And once we left hair, it was now, like go ahead and figure it out on DH. It isn't just me that's doing well, like my friends. They're doing so well. They just don't do it in like the way I do it, you know? I mean, they just have a different industry that they're doing, but they're doing well that people are amazing and what people strengths are is really incredible. But seven people don't get the nurture and like, places for that and are pushed into the bad parts of life And don't get help or skills on. I would love to. Just like I want to make enough money one day and have a big and a platform one day that I could actually make a difference. I could do charity stuff. I could do, like, nonprofit things and get a voice out there, get the movement out there, get change, is involved in systems and have like, like the funding, for example to me, I would love to have funding and placed with, like, kids that turn 18 and they have nowhere to go. It's like the start, an amount of money being released them for maybe the 1st 6 months and just being like right, we're gonna help you out. But these are the things you to figure out now for the next six months. Like look for a house broke you look like, but I'm gonna help you like their classes there. These things, like tax, is something that I had no idea I still don't really get like

spk_1:   1:4:10
nothing. I think way actually in school were not really told about Ah, off life experiences are way, But I'm certainly full training. Yeah, but I mean, well, a lot of us are lucky to have parents, you know, that kind of here support was in that way, but for someone in care, if they like, if they just get forgotten about 18 I mean, that is that he's still a child.

spk_0:   1:4:39
It's all home is on. It's like when I was 18. I do now. I feel proud of myself because I can't believe I survived that like a common, even like people talk about like now, like you're here, See a puppy just like last somewhere. It's like That's what that was like. And that's what that is for so many kids that turn 18. Like all these people. I wanted to hang out with me for a little bit of time, didn't really like May. I was the problem. Now I'm left on the streets and I have nothing. It's like I have no skills. I have I don't know what nutritionists. I don't know anything. I don't know what keeps me alive. I'm now at the age where I can drink alcohol. So why, That's awful. Those two combinations much up, like it just isn't It isn't my age and

spk_1:   1:5:26
they convey destroyed that can really destroy human.

spk_0:   1:5:30
Yeah, and it's so so sod. And I just like the idea of me having, like me decide what I can model like that I can do the things I could do now, you know? And then I'm lucky, because I can. And I met people that also encouraged me. And I've got family that encouragement. I am lucky in so much. But other people don't have that. And some people do just think. Okay, this is on its way. Yeah, and like, if I could use what I have now on DH, maybe get somewhere in the future and do what I love like a one a model I wanna act. I want to do things like goals as well.

spk_1:   1:6:08
Even if

spk_0:   1:6:08
I can use that to create something they can better

spk_1:   1:6:11
That doesn't make sense. Absolutely. The other thing, I really hope we do get to a point, and I actually really believe that you will get to a point where you are in a position to say right, you know, let's start a charity or let's start over company or system. They're very careful kids in care like, you know, teenagers. That's why I think

spk_0:   1:6:36
as well that my life was supposed to be like that. Because you know most. You know, if you have a charity and you have things that help other people, you have to be able to understand it. And you have to.

spk_1:   1:6:48
Why should

spk_0:   1:6:48
you care? And like I really care. And I really care about these people. And I care about kids. I really care about kids. Andi, I know I'll be doing it. The right reason that I know how it feels. And I know exactly the shoes there. Rain?

spk_1:   1:7:01
Yeah, definitely has been so good to talk to you. And thank you so much for for being on the podcast. You're amazing. Thanks again to Danielle for sharing your incredible storey. It was so great to talk to you. You can follow Danielle on Instagram at Danielle Little. It's in the show tonight. I also wanted to tell you about my brand new shopping. Take off carefully selected cherry takes. There's an exclusive 20% discount for listeners. Simply use the code podcast at the cheque out. Take a look at Kerry's no dot com forward slash shop. If you enjoyed listening to the manicure table, Creative conversations with me Cherry snow and you want to hear from more creative than subscribe to the podcast and follow us on instagram at the manicure table. If you have any feedback or you just want to get in touch, you can contact me either on instagram at Cherry Snow. Or you can email manicure at cherry snow dot com. I'd love to hear from you. Thanks for listening. Keep well and stay safe.